Thirty three years ago today, my brother, 10 months younger than I, died. He was 20, my very best friend, full of life and dreams, a free spirit to my intensely narrow, driven nature. He fell from a roof. Gone in an instant.
The end of his life shaped mine forever more. I became more driven, more intense. Angrier. What I did not become was softer, able to own the pain my heart feels every day without him. That would come later, after many years of driving ever further. The pain was weakness and only age has taught me the wisdom of its strength.
I share my transformative moment because we all have them. They are there to teach us, shape us, bring us to our own humanity. I am forever richer for having suffered the loss I have, knowing, without question, that I would do just about anything to make it not so. My brother’s death brought me to the path I likely never would have taken. No unicorns and rainbows on this path, only confidence that I am the man I was meant to be.
My gift is to see creativity and the possibility that exists with its expression as a business. The wisdom my brother gave me is that art and creative business lives beyond the rational. Intellectual grounding and foundation is a must, but it is only the runway to the sky.
At the end of the day, I come to this: humanity, connection, our willingness to allow others to see our tapestry – our pain, our joy, our hope and our fear – is what binds us. Your willingness to bring this aspect of yourself to your creative business is a choice.
I will not stand here and say, if you do not, you will not be successful. All I can say is that it is the place we all search for – to be seen, experienced and held as who we are. Most of your clients want that from you, your art and your creative business. After all, in so many instances, they are trusting you with some of the most precious times in their lives. Today, more than ever.
Your art and your creative business exist to transform, to compel hope and vision, satisfaction and confidence, value, then your vulnerability, your tapestry might just be the best place to start.
Trust.
Trust is the one thing that is ephemeral, illusive and incredibly necessary to do great work. If you are to engage in vulnerability, intimacy, it has to have purpose. The purpose is to move your art forward, else the revelation is only arrogance and debilitating to the transformation you seek.
You might have become uncomfortable at learning of my brother’s death, find it way beyond why you are here — to learn more about your creative business. Simply, you cannot relate or appreciate how my narrative impacts you and the growth you seek. Arrogance would dictate that I say, “well, I am not for you then.” Humility says I understand and I will not bring it to you again. I exist to transform my clients and so do you. If the intimacy I bring is ultimately self-indulgent, then it is on all of us (myself very much included) to stop, acknowledge that this journey is for their transformation first and to return to center.
The entirety of the message of this post is that we are all flawed and it is never about the falling down, it is about the getting back up. If we can see how we drew attention away from a client’s story with our own, then we must bring it back to theirs. Empathy and sympathy require humility first and foremost, else we find ourselves a narcissistic pedant. Fifty cent words for being a jerk that has just no place today.
Vulnerability is required, today more than ever, as is intimacy. Just never lose the thread that is those you seek to serve, never the other way around.
