Learning To Say Goodbye

Fair warning, this one is a little out there.  I wrote it late one night a few days ago to myself.  I did not intend to share.  But when I re-read it, I realized that it does apply to creative business owners and their art.  How the move within is so painful given the idea that you create for other people for a living.  And yet, move inside you must, if only to find the kernel, the shard of what you are meant to share, your truth.  So I decided to post.  I changed “I” to “we” but left most everything as I originally wrote it.  Felt like I should not edit too much.

Learning To Say Goodbye

How is it that we can ever be ready to say goodbye?  We hold so tightly, believe so fervently in the life we are living that when things change, as they must, we find ourselves steadfast in our refusal.

We can only discover ourselves alone.  It is the inevitable place for us all.  We come to this earth that way and we leave it that way too.  And yet there are those souls we are meant to touch in between and they ours.  We are forever shaped by the experience and find ourselves at home in the notion that all we find was meant to be.  Except it was not.  There is no grand plan, only the joy of a place to be grateful.  To inspire and be inspired.  To love and to feel and to learn and to un-learn.

We come to our awareness in our own time.  Connection is in our awareness, the freedom to dream, a place to be found.  From there our own spirit emerges.  We are all guides and we are all meant to be lead.  From within there is hope, connection, solace of other.

Family is what can bind us, support us, cripple us, free us from and to our sense of purpose.  If we are willing to call to peace, to look inside, we might realize our own.  The search is an active endeavor.  The proof of what this life might be lies only in our desire for peace.  To see what is and will be is irrelevant and from there we must leap.  Leap into our own feeling of place, our own desire for family.  We must free ourselves from reflection; looking only in the dark for our own light.

We all seek connection, crave the touch of another.  However, living in reflection of other isolates us, keeps us from intimacy with our own love, our own divine right to create.  Desire for connection has to be to ourselves first and foremost.  Joy within us, our own sense of self, our own move to the inner wisdom that exists in all of us, the interior truth that will set us free; the desire to simply be.

We are flawed, ashamed, disgraced as much as we are brilliant and graceful. The reflection of other must die and we along with it.  In its place is contentment, freedom to allow others their path, their pain, their joy as we savor ours along side them.  Immersion to self manifests deep loneliness, longing for connection.  A transformation into manhood.  The freedom to say goodbye.