How Do You Say Goodbye And Hello?

The decision to stick it out in the midst of a global crisis is not an easy one.  I enjoy the thoughtfulness Liene Stevens has laid out in her recent post, “Should I Close My Business?” as you contemplate whether to keep going or not.  If you are here or thinking of being here, have a read and give yourself the space to make a contemplative decision, or as much a contemplative decision as possible. I only have one additional comment: staring down the barrel of an unending world of sh-t is not for the faint of heart.  You might have the love for what you do and a deep desire to keep going but, while no-one knows the future, I do know it is going to be a long, brutal slog back until there is a vaccine or some other effective therapy for CV-19.

The kindness, albeit self-interested, culture we find ourselves in will not last.  The market will shift and you might find yourself dealing with utter hell day after day after day with no foreseeable light.  You will then have to ask yourself if you are truly willing to swim without ever knowing if the shore will appear.  Most of us just cannot go there and that is why I am caveating what Liene talked about with imploring you to go there.

A little thought experiment for you — how long would it take you to count to a billion at a number per second?  Do not do the math, just think about it.  A month? A year? Ten years? Thirty years?  More than thirty years?

If you guessed less than thirty years (it is actually more than thirty one years), you now understand your own limitation on the depth of pain you think you can endure by sticking it out.  Adjust accordingly.  I have worked with clients who have been under criminal indictment for tax evasion, millions of dollars in debt, had loans out to the wrong people, had virtually no work for eighteen months and the one thing they all have in common?  They slept like babies, not because they are sociopaths but because they knew all they could do was chop wood, carry water and stay convicted that the way out was one step at a time.

There is ABSOLUTELY no shame if when you look into that abyss you decide it is not for you, even if you want dearly to keep going.  Life will go on and you will find another path.  Just do not kid yourself into believing that abyss does not wait for you.  Yes, it might never show up but you MUST be ready to live in it if it does.  That is the essence of your decision.

On to a permutation on the theme of letting go.  You might very well decide to pivot/reboot/refocus your creative business.  It might be to do more things virtually, let go of your office (and staff?) or could be to dig deeper into another kind of business (higher end design, micro weddings, on-line design, etc.).  Letting go does mean that you will have to say goodbye to what once was — employees, colleagues, clients with whom you might have had a deep and abiding relationship going strong right up until the pandemic.  Simply, if you make the decision that your art and your creative business no longer exists to serve these people then there is a death.  As with all death, it needs to be mourned and accepted before life can be fully embraced.  Yes, the pandemic has catalyzed the change but need not necessarily be the cause.  Hopefully, CV is just the ultimate accelerant to where you fantasized about going and now really have no other choice.  Art always transcends its medium and your foundation can and will find a new home.

The grace of letting go is your resilience and resolution that the passing is necessary and permanent.  What will not work is shelving what was, embracing the new only until the old can come back again.  Whether or not the old can ever come back is not the point.  If you go down this path, you will forever be talking over the shoulder of the person in front of you.  You might kid yourself and think that this is not so but it is.  You really do need to let go if you ever hope to be truly present and vulnerable to what lies ahead.

I very much realize that this has been foisted upon you in light speed.  Take the time you need to be forthright in your transformation, then act with intention.  There is sadness and pain in any change no matter the circumstance, ignoring that reality is its own demise.  No one likes change, ever.  Feeling forced to change is the hardest of all.  Yet, here we are and must have faith that the other side of change is unforeseen opportunity.  Let love, light and kindness guide you.  It is not woo woo, it is vulnerability that to move towards something today, you have to move away from what mattered (and probably still matters) just a second ago.  From there you can find acceptance and from acceptance you can find grace, from grace humility and from humility hope and from hope purpose.  And on you will go.