For any parent who has ever given in to what they knew was not the right move only to regret it later, this post is for you. Whether it is too much sugary foods, TV, electronics, you name it, when you take it away there is always a tantrum. You are the worst person in the world for taking away this deliciousness. Except you (and every other parent on the planet) know that this deliciousness is now poison and you know better than to let it persist. The people who do not know better are your children.
The lessons for your creative business are legion. No, I am not comparing your clients to children, but I am saying the behavior is similar in that you know better and have to be responsible for all that comes from being in that position. Let’s focus on two specific lessons: first, allowing what you know to be a misstep in the name of appeasing your client is a sugar high; and, second, the response when you correct and/or enforce what you need to happen will be met with anger and resentment.
I loathe the word “collaboration” when a client is really using it to say that they want what they want even if it forces you, the artist, to compromise the integrity of all that you are as both an artist and businessperson. See also “the client is always right”, “my money, my choice”. No, no and no. Yes, you have to work with what your client imagines but you never, ever have to compromise your integrity as an artist and businessperson in order to meet the demands of your client. If you do, even for a glimpse, your client will feel emboldened and you might even feel good that you have moved on from what was surely a sticking point. Fool’s gold as at a certain point you will come back to what is truly unacceptable to you and either have to eat it or face a huge backlash. Integrity matters because it is hard. When you realize your error, then come back to yourself and offer the binary choice of the implications of their route (painful) or your route (less painful). There is no in between as all roads lead to work you are proud to sign your name to and that work is not that of the client.
Which leads me to anger and resentment. Make no mistake, your client will be angry, resentful and likely indignant when you stand up for what you know to be right. They will bully, threaten, cajole, get personal, say whatever they need to to get back what you just took from them. If I had a dollar for every creative business owner that tried to manage, remove or somehow give in to a client’s anger, I would own my own island with a private plane to get there.
There is a people pleaser in most creative business owners and absorbing the tension and venom of a disgruntled client is often too much to bear. So we cave. Yes, you are the cause, however, you are also the answer as you most certainly do know better. You have to come back to yourself, your art and your creative business if you are do the work of transformation. The way through is not to take away a client’s anger, it is to own the wisdom, experience and talent that brought you to the table in the first place. We all take a wrong turn and you will not make the same mistake next time. You are here though and conviction, intention, perspective will get you through.
Last, your clients may never recover and that has to be ok so long as the process becomes yours once again. You are not your clients’ friends, you are their expert, their guide and yours is to manifest your vision for them to own. If respect is regained, that has to be good enough for you. And if they wish to fire you because you need what you need, that is, of course, their choice. You, on the other hand, do not have a choice other than to do the work you are willing to stand behind and stand up for.
Flexibility and compromise are not the same thing. Ever. You can be flexible and adapt to any situation you caused or allowed to happen. Mea culpas might even be necessary. However, the line is yours to own as is redemption and recovery. This is your show, your business, your process, your promise to be the best in the world, your world, at what you do. Live there without compromise — no matter the noise.
