Happiness is a choice. Nothing makes you happy. We choose to embrace joy or we do not. From my days as a lawyer and investment banker, I knew many professionals who were miserable, even though, by any outward measure, they were hugely successful. I was one of them and, on my worst days, I find myself there again. I worry about everything, see the dangers everywhere and feel incredibly incapable of handling any of it, let alone all of it.
Jonathan Fields wrote a great post yesterday about feeling the need to push boundaries, to make himself uncomfortable, live in dis-ease, all in an effort to (re)explore himself and his world. In the process, Jonathan knows he is going to lay eggs – golden and rotten – and he is choosing to do it anyway. It is incredibly validating to me to read his words and know my moments of insecurity are the same choice as my moments of confidence and courage.
So much has been written about the economy: whether the recession is at a plateau, that we are heading up or that the worst is yet to come. To me, it is all a reflection of carnage after the crisis. The closer you are to the crisis the harder it is to justify its continuation to those further removed from it.
By no means am I equating any natural disaster (even if we caused it) with the collapse of an economy. However, if your life is not directly touched in some way by the disaster, how often do you think about the Gulf Coast or Haiti? What about Pakistan? And how often will you think about them a month from now? Six months? A year? Almost without question, your relationship to these examples of extreme suffering will be far distant from those that will still then be living and breathing them every day.
It is easy and admirable to commend those creative businesses that have chosen to innovate and/or reinvent themselves as a result of the economic crisis. Especially those that have succeeded. It is also easy and not so admirable to condemn those that are still suffering. For those of you that are in this place of pain, I want to acknowledge what you continue to endure as dauntingly real. I also want to encourage you to not see your suffering as a life sentence or validation of your inability to “make it through”. Instead, take a note from Jonathan and choose joy. If your state of being is suffering, then choosing joy IS pushing your boundaries.
Your choice to see the joy of your life will not solve your reality, but your determination to keep choosing it will.
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Have you read Dennis Pragers’ “Happiness is a Serious Problem”?
This is a very important post for many people. I see it every day, victims. And while yes, everyone is a victim of something, we all have to decide how we deal with it.
It’s not what happens to a man that determines who is, but how he responds.
Thanks for the reminder 🙂
😛
what a great perspective! it is very difficult to see past the present problems especially when they’re so overwhelming. thanks for reminding us that we can indeed make it through, we just have to keep pushing 🙂
Perfectly put, Sean! Abraham Lincoln once said “People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be. “
The problem is that a lot of people are so conditioned to being unhappy that they don’t know how to be happy and it drags them and everyone else around down.
It’s always reassuring to know that we’re not alone in our frequent leaps from confidence to insecurity… from happiness to discontent. And while I certainly agree that we can choose happiness if we wish, it’s easy to find ourselves lost in the pursuit… not knowing whether we’re coming or going. But such is life, I think.
this really applies to me and my life. But i think it stems from tragedy. my daughter taught me to choose joy. she is 7. she has spina bifida. has had 18 surgeries. really puts things in perspective. but even then she is rare to her breed. She is always happy, always! and nothing but positivity radiates from her. People tell me all the time how incredible it is how happy our whole family is (other kids included) in spite of the tragic things we face continually. yep we are one of those families, that people look at with questions and wonder. 7 almost 8 years later i still choose joy! because its far better then the alternative.
great post as always sean. super enjoyable. I read and read and read sometimes. have a little catch up session on your blog about once a month. i journal also during this time. its invigorating.