Of all of the challenges in my life, forgiveness is by far the most daunting. I can mouth the words, understand how important it is to move on, but the anger, resentment and judgment offer familiar comfort. It is far easier to feel betrayed and abandoned than it is to accept my own failings. I aspire to empathy; compassion and I dare say even love as we all should, but so much easier said than done.
How we all move through the process of forgiveness is what defines us as human beings. The greatest trespasses against us are those that offer the largest opportunity for humility and grace. A first step can be to forgive yourself for not yet being able to forgive. Offer yourself your own humanity.
Forgiveness has everything to do with creative business. The combination of today’s technology, our economic climate and hyper-competition is a perfect storm for transgression. We hear more and more of competitors stealing names, designs, clients, collateral from websites and blogs, and even businesses altogether. Clients get to have their (very) subjective voice broadcast globally. And everyone is a critic these days. Just as much as everyone is an expert. If you let yourself, you could spiral for years festering over all the wrongs you, your art and your creative business will suffer this month.
Get over it, move on, it is not worth it, rise above? Really? We are not Buddha and this is not copying your neighbor’s test answers. This is your livelihood and the trespasses cut to your core as an artist and businessperson. Yet if you cannot forgive, you cannot have empathy and sympathy for yourself most of all. You do not have to accept the suckiness of the situation, but you do have to live in it. The point of forgiveness is to not get lost — the world will pass you by as you spiral – but to suffer your own humanness and the world’s for that matter. Be a mess, be pissed off, and then let it be, live in your own skin and go do great work.
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A very important point, Sean. Bitterness, anger and hositlity are toxic to creativity and especially to the creative business. The moment we become reactive rather than proactive we lose our momentum. I think that the secret to forgiving is not to try to make an objectionable action by another acceptable in some way; the secret is to make that action unimportant to us. Remove the power of the action by having faith in ourselves and our creativity.
I just wanted to say thank you for writing this. The act of forgiveness has been on my heart a lot lately. A great quote I heard recently: “When you truly forgive someone, you will their good” So important as creatives. Our most authentic creativity really does come from a place of genuine love.
“Offer yourself your own humanity” has stuck with me over the weekend. Thank you for that beautiful sentiment!
great advice.
“You do not have to accept the suckiness of the situation, but you do have to live in it.”
love that you used the word suckiness 🙂
Some things cannot be forgiven.
However move on, learn and change for the better. It would be a foolish notion to think we can forgive everything.
I am so glad that I am following you on Twitter because I know that I needed to read this. I have been struggling with “forgiveness” . I do know that in order to forgive we must let go, bless the offender, and move on. I thank you for this article and it resonated with me deeply.
Oh and I love the word “suckiness”. I’m leaving that behind too (the feeling of suckiness)!
Great post- as always, and so timely. I find in the wedding industry that we can very easily become too comfortable with one another as we speak endless amounts of time together. It’s an environment perfectly suited to grudges and bad feelings all around. Last week was a particularly challenging one in my world, and this post was helpful in allowing me to accept and move on- thanks for the inspiration.