No matter how hard you work at defining your brand, your business process and your value proposition, a difficult client will find his way into your life. He will want to negotiate everything, is never satisfied with what you tell him, demand all of your attention all of the time, and always make you feel like you are not doing enough.
In a perfect world, you would fire all of your difficult clients. Give them their money back, refer them on and wish them well. The time and resources it will take you to satisfy this client (who will probably never be satisfied) will far exceed the money you have been paid. Negative energy surrounding a difficult client will almost always taint the work. Best to let that energy go before it manifests into sub-par work and/or an unsatisfied client.
However, we do not live in a perfect world and, even in a recovering economy, letting a paying client walk out the door is simply not an option for most creative businesses. So what to do? Use the experience as a lesson and walk in the shoes of your client. You may not be able to start over, but you can try to understand what the client is not getting from you and do your best to make lemonade out of lemons. If it is too infrequent communication, set a time to talk that is comfortable for him at a frequency he might appreciate. If he says he is not getting what he wants, try to find out what it is he does not understand. If he does not believe you are providing him value for his money, find out why and do your best to explain why it is that you do what you do.
What you should never, ever do, though, is to sublimate yourself to your client. The power of your creative business is yours, not theirs. You do not need to talk to your client at 2:00 a.m. because she wants you to. Nor do you have to talk for two hours every day. You are guiding your clients, not the other way around. Better for you to say, “In my experience, most of my clients need to hear from us [weekly, daily, monthly] to feel like they are part of our process. I understand you need more frequent communication so I suggest that we talk for ___ minutes every Wednesday.” than, “So sorry Mrs. Smith for not being in better communication with you, what would work better for you?”
Every client needs to feel heard, even if your answer is no. This is especially true for those that do their very best to make you feel that your art is a commodity that you can offer a “deal” on. If your response to her request for you to lower your price is met with indignation, it will permeate your entire relationship. Instead, why not try to understand that different people have different ways of expressing the basic human desire to give and receive value. Difficult clients want you to value the dollars they are giving you above anything else. So why not honor that energy instead of fighting against it? You can say no to her request to lower your prices by pointing out the value she is getting for her money: that you are the best at what you do and that your prices are what they are to let you do (and keep doing) your best work. It certainly helps if you know what is most valuable about you, your art and creative business and can have someone other than you explain it to her.
The irony is that there is more to learn from difficult clients than from clients that adore you. Those that adore you are likely to look past (too) many of your failings because of their love for you and your art. While we all need forgiveness and acceptance, we also need constructive criticism to improve. Difficult clients go too far and turn criticism into condemnation, but there is much to be learned from your interaction with them. Knowing where the train went off the proverbial tracks allows you to fix both the train and the track. The grace of difficult clients is that they expose the integrity of your art and your creative business. They make you choose: compromise your integrity or grow more resolute in your intrinsic value. For the sake of the health of your creative business (and you sanity), I hope it really is not a choice at all.
{ 9 comments }
Thank you for posting this. “What you should never, ever do, though, is to sublimate yourself to your client. The power of your creative business is yours, not theirs. ” — so, SO good to hear. I am relatively new to your blog, but these posts have proven invaluable as I set the foundation for the launch of my own creative business this year. Thank you!
Such a fantastic post – thank you. And it is so, so true that the tough clients are the best sources of insight into the very meat of your business. They’ve tested my business practices and helped me to develop better systems. I’m better at serving ALL clients as a result.
So true, Sean, a difficult client can be a mirror and offer a wonderful opportunity to reflect on your own expectations about your business and what you need and want from clients and yourself.
Clients will hear you say no and accept it (though, not necessarily like it) if they perceive that you have acknowledged their thoughts and feelings and attempted to create a workable solution. What they will remember is the process of working with you was fair, reasonable and thoughtful.
Then again, there are some clients that will not see your efforts to help no matter what. They will behave badly and try to bully you. When that happens I rebalance myself against their integrity attack and remind myself (and them) that while all my coaching clients deserve my help and guidance, none of them are entitled to it. We play by my flexible, generous rules or not at all.
Hi Sean,
Thanks for bringing up this topic! I recently had to deal with this situation, and had to let go of such client, and they called the project off after not having me answering their calls at 10.30 PM.
A friend once said that “professionalism” means that we would do whatever clients demand to their satisfactory. Which I could not agree with him. We play by both rules (vendor-client) that we should have been acknowledged and agreed before starting the project.
Having been in the professional services business for 22 years now, the one thing I always try to remember with clients is that they are paying me to solve their problems. When a client starts to get riled up and antagonistic, I have two choices – I can get riled up as well or I can take a deep breath, count to five (it is honestly amazing how well that works) and try to understand what is causing him or her so much pain and anguish. Sometimes, they will initially say their pain and anguish is coming from my company and our work, but when I start peeling back the layers a bit, I find that that is not really the case. It is something else (e.g. He or she doesn’t know how to sell our work through internally), and more times than not, it is something I can help my client address.
When a client starts jumping down my throat, my initial tendency is to get defensive. But then I try to, as Sean says, step outside of myself and put myself in my client’s shoes. I go into “I’m going to make this person feel better” service mode. I become determined to solve their problem. And nine times out of ten, it works. The phone call ends with a client who is thanking me and appreciating me that much more. And in an economy where clients are fewer and farther between, that can often make all the difference.
Love this Sean. So spot on. Sometimes difficult clients are just difficult and sometimes difficult clients are telling us things we don’t want to hear (but know are true) about the shortcomings of our business practices. I have had experiences with both type of “difficult client.” Neither are easy to deal with, but they are present to make us grow, change, improve and most of all learn who our ideal client is.
This post is incredible. I think sometimes we forget to put things into perspective and its so nice to hear this from someone who is seasoned and been in the business for so long. So true to not “sublimate yourself to your client” but at the same time to be mindful of their concerns.
fab post sean! totally hit home today 🙂 thanks for your insight!
Thank you for the words of wisdom!