Anger

99.9% of the time anger has no place in business, creative or not.  Losing your temper means losing control and your ability to effectively communicate.  When you are enraged you have no chance to persuade anyone of anything other than you are f—king pissed off at them.  Screaming and yelling may make you feel powerful, but it is actually doing the opposite.  I have had someone scream at me for an hour straight trying to convince me how wrong I was and how tough he was.  At the end, I had a headache and could only feel sorry for him.

Each and every time I lose my temper I know that I have lost.  And I am so sad for it.  There are always consequences to anger.  Once scorched, it is hard for anyone to come back and try to listen to what you have to say.  The road back is always really hard, even if you think it is not.  If only I could always be a Samurai and use anger as fuel for calm, precise attack, I would be a better communicator and far more effective in what I do.  I am proud that most of the time I can live in this space, but I am also just not that evolved.

There it is. If someone (be it a client, employee, vendor or colleague) takes a swipe at what you believe is your talent, your art, your essence, sometimes you just have to stand up and say no, you are wrong and you do not have the right to tear me down.  Would it be better to do it like a Samurai?  Sure.  But in your rage you might just find your own integrity and faith (again) in all that you do.  So on this rarest of occasions, give yourself permission to push back.  Hard.  Know there will be consequences. That YOUR credibility will be questioned, maybe never to return again with those on the receiving end.  Do it anyway to show (even if only to yourself) how much you believe in all that you are and what you have to give.  Then when it is done, cooler heads can recognize that nobody has the right to assail the essence of anyone’s personhood.  An angry response on both sides is sometimes the only way to make that point abundantly clear to each other.  From there, you can get down to the business of communicating ideas and creating something remarkable together.

All of which brings me to the following: if you cannot say it to someone’s face, do not say it at all.  At base, we are all only the sum of our reputations.  Those that would choose to malign you, your art or your creative business behind your back are cowards of the worst order.  We are not in high school and we are not talking about stealing someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend.  We are talking about our professional careers as both artists and business people.  You are entitled to your opinion as to the value of anything you pay for and receive in this world.  Yelp.com, Zagats and TripAdvisor.com are multi-million dollar examples justifying the point.  You might feel a creative business or its owner is a hack, fraud, huckster or charlatan.  That is your right too.  Just be straight up about it or do not say anything to anybody on the topic.  Besmirching a creative business or business owner’s reputation behind their back might provide you a short-term gain (i.e., a client) or validate your less-than-savory behavior.  However, in so doing you have made yourself and your creative business simply a derivative of those you malign.  Ultimately, the comparison will wear thin and the truth will out.  Especially, to paraphrase Seth Godin, if those you seek to knock down ignore you and go about the business of provoking, inspiring and giving to clients, employees and colleagues alike.